


the ability to do something that frightens one (strength in the face of pain or grief)

by orphan_account



Series: pokemon femslash [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bianca Is A Tiny Baby Gay, Bravery, Childhood Friends, F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:12:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Five times Bianca was brave (and one time she didn’t have to be).





	the ability to do something that frightens one (strength in the face of pain or grief)

**Author's Note:**

> slight canon divergence in that bianca is a year younger than touko
> 
> also, touko and touya are twins bc wtf
> 
> i haven't played in a while so whoops

 

**one**

 

They're playing Team Rocket because it's Touko's favorite game to play, and Bianca likes to do things that make Touko happy. Touko is a member of Team Rocket (as always) and Bianca is the beautiful Officer Jenny; Touko is running ahead, her longer legs carrying her faster than Bianca could ever hope to run. Her pretty brown hair floats behind her and Bianca wants to catch her more than anything. She isn't sure why. 

Touko is a member of Team Rocket (as always) and Bianca is the beautiful Officer Jenny; Touko is running ahead, her longer legs carrying her faster than Bianca could ever hope to run. Her pretty brown hair floats behind her and Bianca wants to catch her more than anything. She isn't sure why. 

"You'll never catch me!" Touko calls, her voice high and clear, almost as if she knows. Her voice sounds like music, or something just as sweet. Sweeter.

 _Oh yes, I will,_ Bianca thinks fiercely, stubbornly pushing her chubby little legs to run faster, trying to outrun the older girl.

Unfortunately, she pushes too hard, and she trips and crashes down, skinning her knee. A sharp pain tears through her knee and she purses her lips against the wail that threatens to burst out of her. 

Touko spins around, hair fanning out behind her, like a halo. Concern is written plainly across her face, and Bianca hates it. She never wants that horrible look to be on Touko's face ever again. She leaps up, fighting back a wince at the way pain lances through her knee. "I'm fine!" She exclaims, grinning fiercely. If she says it, it's true. "Let's keep playing, I almost got you!" Touko stands oddly still, head cocked, before smiling strangely. "Alright," She

She leaps up, fighting back a wince at the way pain lances through her knee. "I'm fine!" She exclaims, grinning fiercely. If she says it, it's true. "Let's keep playing, I almost got you!" Touko stands oddly still, head cocked, before smiling strangely. "Alright," She says, before she's off again.

 

 

 

**two**

 

Touko is brawling with Touya, again, as they have been all summer. Bianca can hear their shouting from her room, and she'd bet anything they're throwing things. Cheren is sitting frozen on her bed, where he was studying different types of pokemon. He hates fighting; it's why he doesn't come over to her house very often, her dad is too loud.

He hates fighting; it's why he doesn't come over to her house very often, her dad is too loud.

Something about the expression on his face makes her angrier than she's ever been before. Bianca sighs loudly and stands up. "I'm sick of this," She growls and stomps out of her room and down the stairs. She breezes past her mother and father, who are arguing in low tones. Normally, she would be cowering nervously. Today, she's too angry. She shoots them a glare and they fall silent, surprised.

She doesn't even bother to knock, just bursts in, hands on her hips. "You two need to  _stop_ ," She says loudly, clearly, giving them a  _look_. The look her mother gives her father when he yells at the dinner table. She's so angry she almost doesn't feel afraid. Almost. 

She's so angry she almost doesn't feel afraid. Almost. 

Touko and Touya are staring at her, mouths open in shock. Bianca sighs, rolling her eyes. "What are you even fighting about?" She asks exasperatedly. "You're twins!" Touya shrugs uncomfortably, while Touko scowls at her feet. "I dunno," He mumbles, "She started it." Touko's gaze snaps to him, and her lips pull back in a snarl.

"It's not fair!" She bursts out suddenly, after several moments of tense silence. "It's not fair that he gets to go on his journey in less than a year and I..." She trails off, glancing at Bianca guiltily, and Bianca can guess the end of that sentence. "You have to wait for me?" She asks, but it's not much of a question. Fire leaps up in her chest and she clenches her fists until her fingernails bite into her palms. "If it's that horrible for you then  _don't_." She spits angrily, but it aches more than anything. Touko's eyes are wide and she opens her mouth to say something but Bianca spins on her heel and runs, slamming the door behind her. 

She runs up to her room and Cheren is still there; he takes one look at her face, red and blotchy from angry tears and wordlessly opens his arms. She flies into them with a sob.

Later that night she hears a rapping on her window. She knows it's Touko, has heard that rap many times, and she almost doesn't let her in.  _It would serve her right_ , she thinks, but she's tired of being angry.

Touko smiles at her uncertainly, wincing when Bianca gives her a flat look. She mumbles something that sounds a lot like "Ok, I deserved that." Bianca snorts. 

"Well?" She says waspishly after waiting for what feels like hours but is only a couple of minutes. Touko takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," She says clearly, giving no room for a mishearing, "I was being stupid and selfish. I would never want to go on my journey without you." Touko bites her lip, blushing lightly, and even angry, Bianca can't quite look away. "It would be terrible," She continues, "And I would be lonely. You're my best friend." The last part is said softly, so softly Bianca almost doesn't catch it. She does, and it fills her up with warmth.

"It would be terrible," She continues, "And I would be lonely. You're my best friend." The last part is said softly, so softly Bianca almost doesn't catch it. She does, and it fills her up with warmth.

Bianca can't help it, she's always been weak when it comes to Touko. "Ok," She says quietly, "Thanks." And Touko smiles, and Bianca thinks it's probably the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. It always is.

 

**three**

 

It's the start of their journey. Bianca can't breathe. She's already fought with her father and boy, that was scary. His words still echo in her head, and maybe that's why she's so scared now, why she can't breathe, why she feels like her heart is going to beat out of her chest. She swallows loudly. Touko looks at her, her eyes understanding and kind. She says nothing, just reaches out, taking Bianca's hand in hers. Bianca's hand tingles and she something surges through her. She's still scared, but she wants to be brave. 

They take their first step into the world, together. Bianca feels light and heavy at once, and she's not sure if she's flying or falling. At least, either way, Touko is by her side.

There's no one she'd rather be with.

 

**four**

 

Touko isn't there to save her this time; she's off battling some boy, and Bianca is all alone, facing off a Team Plasma grunt, only a year or so older than Bianca.

It's nothing like playing Team Rocket.

It's absolutely terrifying, and Bianca can feel icy cold fear course through her veins, freezing in her in place. "What, are you  _scared_?" Taunts the grunt. She flicks her curly red hair over her shoulder and Bianca's eyes track the movement. The grunt watches her do so, amused.  _Stop it_ , she thinks fiercely, fighting back a blush. She _really_ doesn't need this right now.

She straightens her shoulders, trying to remember what it feels like to be brave, and glares at the grunt, who smiles back, sickly sweet. "You can't just take people's pokémon," She finds herself saying, almost on autopilot. "Pokémon are really important to their human companions, and vice versa!" The grunt looks bored. "Yeah, yeah," She says lightly, "Whatever." Something about the dismissal lights the spark in Bianca's belly, and it roars to life. She's not afraid anymore. Or, she is, but she doesn't care. "Go! Oshawott!" She cries, and the battle begins.

She forgets her fear until the end of the battle, when she and her pokemon are both tired but victorious. She's sure she looks terrible, and that  _rankles_ , because the grunt lost but she still looks impeccable. 

"Oh bummer," The grunt says, but she doesn't seem very sorry. "Well," She says in her light tone of voice, "See you next time!" She blows Bianca kiss before running away.

"Huh," Says Touko, and Bianca spins around, strangely panicked. Touko has a bemused look on her face. "What was that about?" She asks, staring at the place where the grunt disappeared. "I'm not sure," Bianca says, even though she is, kind of. Touko shrugs and turns fully to her, grinning. "You were really great," She says warmly, and Bianca can feel herself flush bright red. "T-thanks," She whispers. Touko starts forward and then stops, hovering awkwardly before turning away. "Let's get you to the Pokémon Center," She says. Her voice sounds strange, but when she turns to look at Bianca she's still smiling. It's a soft, gentle smile.

Bianca counts the freckles on her cheeks, breathes. She's got to be ok with this. 

 

**five**

 

They're fighting Team Plasma for real this time. Bianca feels as if everything but Touko is frozen. Touko is moving in a blur, as she always does. She looks like an angel. Bianca remembers the time

Bianca remembers the time she had fought the Team Plasma grunt, almost two years ago now, and the way Touko had looked in the light of the setting sun. A gentle angel. Now, she looks more like an angel of war. 

Bianca blinks. She shouldn't be thinking like this right now, she needs to fight. She reaches for Oshawatt's pokéball when a voice sounds behind her. A _familiar_ voice. "Oh look who it is! "The light voice exclaims cheerfully, "It's the brave little trainer from two years ago!" 

Bianca turns slowly, hand on the pokéball. Sure enough, it's the red-haired grunt; she looks even more beautiful now, and it makes Bianca angry. Angry enough to say. "Wanna battle? Bet I'll beat you again!" The grunt smirks. "Sure thing, hon," She says sweetly. Something about her reminds Bianca of a liepard. "Gooo Oshawott!" She cries and glances over her shoulder at Touko, just for a second. Touko is already looking at her, a proud smile on her face. Warmth seeps into Bianca and she flushes. Behind her, the grunt laughs. "You haven't changed a bit," She muses, jerking Bianca's mind back into their battle. She turns, grinning fiercely. "Ready?" She asks, but it isn't really a question. The grunt smirks back. "Always she says," Her voice almost a snarl. Bianca realizes she's almost having fun. It's a strange feeling.

It's after the battle—not the one with the grunt, but the full one—and she again feels her fear come back to her, like creeping water, slow and quiet and then sudden and relentless. She doesn't realize she's shaking until Touko rushes to her and wraps an arm around her. Talking to her in a low voice. Bianca can't hear a word she's saying over the buzzing in her ears. She opens her mouth to tell her that but nothing comes out. She's choking on air. 

Touko looks terrified and helps her sit down, her own hands shaking as well. Bianca wants her to not worry, wants it more than almost anything. She tries to tell her but it's like her throat closes whenever she tries to talk. Touko hushes her and leans forward until their foreheads are touching. Her expression is soft and open and Bianca feels unraveled. 

Touko begins speaking, and Bianca doesn't need to hear her to know what she's saying. It's written all over her face.

 

**six**

 

It's been a week. A long, tiring week, full of legal procedures and such and not enough time. That's all she needs, she doesn't need bravery this time because she  _knows_. She thinks of all the years of secretly admiring Touko and she just wants to laugh until she cries.

It's been a week, and Bianca's had enough. 

"Touko!" She calls out, when she finally spots her. Touko freezes, and Bianca almost laughs. She doesn't, because she knows what it's like to be afraid. Instead, she runs up to her and links their arms, smiling sweetly at Touko's surprised expression. 

"Let's have a picnic!" She says, and Touko nods silently. 

They're sitting on a nice little hill, chatting about everything and nothing, when Bianca takes Touko's hand in hers. Touko, who was listing enough pokémon facts to give Cheren a run for his money, sputters to a stop and flushes bright red. 

"You heard me?" She asks quietly, a hint of desperation in her tone. Bianca shakes her head. "No," She says, "But I can guess what you said."

Touko flinches and Bianca squeezes her hand reassuringly. "Touko," She says softly, "I've loved you for a very long time." Touko gasps and Bianca wonders if she's said too much, but when Touko turns to her, her eyes are shining brightly. 

"You do? You really do?" She asks breathlessly, and Bianca nods. "Of course," She answers, "I just never thought you would like me in that way, even if you  _did_ like girls." Touko stares at her in shock, as if that's the most surprising thing she's ever heard. "But you're the most beautiful, brave person I've ever met," She breathes. Bianca feels so full of light and warmth she might burst, and she buries her head in Touko's shoulder, who laughs. Bianca feels it rumble through her body. 

 _This is where I want to be,_ she thinks,  _forever._

 


End file.
